History for Morons

Originally Posted at The Festering Swamp on July 8, 2007

This post concerns a rather stupid history program I saw on HBO last year. Re-reading this, I see I used quite a few scare quotes. Perhaps I am turning into Dr. Evil. Hmmm… - Mike LaRoche

Earlier this evening I tuned to HBO to watch a tape-delayed broadcast of a boxing match - the IBF/IBO heavyweight championship between Lamon Brewster and Vladimir Klitschko. Before the fight aired, I, along with other HBO viewers were subjected to a half-hour comedy special entitled "Assume the Position 201 with Mr. Wuhl" - Mr. Wuhl being B-list actor Robert Wuhl, formerly of the HBO series "Arli$$." During the program, Wuhl assumed the role of a history teacher presenting "facts" and vignettes to a classroom full of "students" who, like Wuhl, knew little about the subject in question.

As one might expect from a network that employs a professional half-wit like Bill "Porcelain God" Maher, much of the program was little more than an improvised Bush-bash with obligatory references to our president's "stupidity." The only real stupidity to be seen, though, was coming from Wuhl, who displayed little knowledge of either historical facts or methodology, the latter of which was evidenced by his repeatedly committing the great cardinal sin avoided by all professional historians: presentism.

In the interests of time - and not exceeding this blog's bandwidth - I'll restrict myself to a couple of examples of Wuhl's idiocy:

1.) On the matter of Bush's alleged lack of intelligence and competence, Wuhl maintained history was "repeating itself." His evidence? President Bush's mother, Barbara Bush née Pierce, was said to be a direct descendant of the late Franklin Pierce, a truly lousy president. The only problem is that she isn't. Barbara Bush is Pierce's fourth cousin four times removed, not a "direct descendant."

2.) Concerning presentism, Wuhl declared Calvin Coolidge a prototypical George W. Bush, citing the former's handling of the Great Mississippi Flood of 1927. You see, just like Bush "didn't care" about (or in the opinion of some mouth-breathers, caused) the devastation wrought by Hurricane Katrina, Silent Cal failed the great left-wing compassion test. How? Because Coolidge believed that his visiting the afflicted area would not accomplish anything. Rather, it would be little more than political grandstanding. However, in the age of the media-savvy camera-whores, such a transgression is unforgivable.

I'm not sure who endured worse punishment tonight: the viewers assaulted with Wuhl's barrage of asininity or the unfortunate Mr. Brewster, who lost to Klitschko by way of a technical knock-out in the sixth round.