Big Brother Down Under

Andrew Bolt of the Herald-Sun of Australia has posted this infuriating article about what Australia's home-grown Tranzis have planned to remake society in their own image. Not content to simply have their stooge Kevin Rudd retreat from Iraq or increase spending on pet social programs, Australia's self-appointed commissars are intent on micromanaging the basic daily habits of their fellow countrymen. Bolt writes:

Last week it was Health Minister Nicola Roxon (again) in her Sass and Bide hairshirt, this time warning smokers they may soon need a permit to puff.

A licence for cigarettes, Roxon says, is "one of the types of things" her health taskforce may tell her to impose. Have these people gone mad?

Is the Pope Catholic?

A new breed of puritans is upon us and growing far too puffed up themselves. It's increasingly urgent they be resisted.

Consider what plans they've already unveiled to cramp your life and set it to their stern order.

Sprinklers on your garden? Banned now for years - to "save" country rivers from the new dams that these concrete greens find hideous, or would if they ever drove out to see one.

Mockery of someone's faith? Also banned, under hate-speech laws - to "save" the too-tender ears of tolerance tut-tutters too intolerant to show tolerance themselves.

Plastic bags to lug home your shopping? To be fined with a 25 cent levy - to "save" the planet from a plastic that smug green baggers find capitalistically crass.

Pre-mixed drinks? Hit with a new alcopop tax - to "save" teenagers from a drink that these pinot preachers find sick-makingly sweet.

Petrol? To be made dearer by an emissions trading scheme - to "save" the planet from a warming that these car-haters and salvation-seekers won't admit halted a decade ago.

Yes, but to the champagne socialists feelings are all that matter, never facts. Witness all of the ridiculous anti-smoking laws passed around the country over the past decade, all rooted in bogus research claiming second-hand smoke causes lung cancer. When supporters of such idiotic laws are challenged on this, they simply say something along the lines of "well at least I can go out to a restaurant now and not have to breathe in toxic tobacco smoke." Ah yes, because it's all about you, isn't it, you little Maoist twerp? To hell with what the owners of such businesses or their customers want, right? Bolt continues:

Here's just some of the bans and new by-laws their 2020 report urges on Rudd: "A junk-food tax"; "a 2.5 cent increased tax on each cigarette"; "abolishing cigarettes and alcohol brought into the country duty-free"; "more stairs in workplaces to encourage people to avoid using the escalators"; "price foods according to their carbon costs"; and "educating the 'white' population on indigenous culture".

Making people suffer is actually good: "Cities should become car-unfriendly."

Speaking of cars, a few days ago in my local paper – the San Antonio Express-News – automotive columnist G. Chambers Williams III wrote about his dream vehicle, the Toyota Land Cruiser. But the Land Cruiser is one of those evil SUVs, so in response to the inevitable disapproval that would follow from certain quarters, Chambers wrote:

My answer to those who criticize me for owning a big, gas-hungry SUV is that I don't use it as a daily driver. It's for weekend family and special-occasion use, such as when I want to go places that most other vehicles never could reach. (My Piaggio MP3 scooter, which can go up to 80 mph and gets up to 75 miles per gallon, is my "green" vehicle.)

Now perhaps Mr. Chambers is just too nice a nice guy, or maybe the content guidelines of the paper restrain him from saying what he really wants to say. Well, not having any such constraints on this blog, I would say this to the aforementioned nattering ninnies: fuck off you Stalinist prigs, I'll drive whatever I damn well please.

And while I'm at it, I think I'll enjoy another hand-rolled cigar.